I used to laugh at the people on reality TV shows like Extreme Hoarders on TLC, with people that didn’t know how to let go of the things they have accumulated throughout their lives. Their physical space is always crowded with clutter, which always can actually be terrible for a person’s state of mind. 

I’ve got a similar problem with materialism, and I have a bit of an idea of where it comes from. Being close to my mothers side of family which includes 5 of my mother’s sister’s who all developed a taste for affluence, which charged their ambition. Clothes and shoes and jewellery became a vice they all shared. I’ve recently come to terms with my mother’s addiction to collecting; specifically clothes, shoes and KITCHEN PLATES.

I too began to get into the habit of collecting, but it turned into hoarding. Not to mention being a shopaholic on a broke-bitch budget is the counterintuitive shit that I’m guilty of.

Although I haven’t been a collector of navel fluff, I have been guilty of hoarding books, university notes, souvenirs, photos, memes, clothes and shoes I’ve never worn, scraggly off-cuts from fabrics I’ve used in the past. It became an unending cycle. I am so afraid of forgetting, that I believe that I need physical evidence of the days that I’ve lived, which in hindsight is ridiculous. It only ever took one photo to unlock the memories of an entire patch of my life. 

Since I’m all about growth these days, I started selling some of my belongings, and putting that money into my savings which will ultimately an insurance fund for the risks I intend on taking. Another thing that relative minimalism has introduced me to is thrift and clothing swap events. I’ve fallen in love with this community of women that believe in recycling and up cycling clothing which I believe can keep the culture of quality clothing and high-fashion alive. A culture that isn’t as worried about ‘how many’, but rather ‘how inspired’.

That actually sounds rather pretentious coming from me. We all know who we’ve been for the past couple of years, and we aren’t always proud of all the choices we’ve made. Just be glad that we are here now and that we can grow from this point forward.

I’m pretty much done being a ‘bag lady’. I’m chasing a lighter feeling; physically, atmospherically, as well as mentally and emotionally. 

I’m looking to reorganise my space as soon as I get rid of the crowding, and I hope that inspires me to change for the better as well, because the one thing I crave is a sense of self-acceptance and even pride. 

Lesson In Adulthood: You can only change yourself.